"Hobbes said that life is nasty, brutish and short. This was a man badly in need
of antidepressants. Of course, this was pre-Krispy Kreme and toilet paper so life
was actually pretty brutish."
--Prof. Mayne, Intro. to Psychology
"God forbid that Lenin's body fall into the wrong hands"
--Professor Eliot Borenstein, World Cultures Russia, talking about moving Lenin's body
out of the Mausoleum
"If I can't get them to read an article about sex, then it's just hopeless!"
--Professor Eliot Borenstein of World Cultures, talking about his students, and an
article he wrote regarding Russia, sex, and the media.
"Listen to me, and you will know it all."
--Prof. Scaglione, finally revealing his true identity of God in
Con.West
"Miniature poodles and all these other horrible creatures...they're going insane
because their brains are bigger than their skulls."
--Professor Robert Squillace, Humanities I, on dogbreeding and Greenwich Village
"Cows fart!"
-- Professor Rhodes, in reference to the methane gas released by the bovine
animals.
"God is not a turtle."
--Professor Friedrich Ulfers, on the mysterious nature of the universe.
"Heresy was a capital crime. Capital, from capit, meaning head, meaning yours."
--Professor Peters, in World Cultures: Muslim Spain
"My life is terrible, but at least my mother isn't an opium addict."
--Professor Dermot O'Brien, Topics in Modern Political Thought, talking about
Nietzsche's "The Gay Science"
"I'm an Irishman. I believe in whatever, yadda, yadda, yadda."
--Professor Dermot O'Brien, Topics in Modern Political Thought
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